This was a word that, to be honest, I didn't know existed until a client mentioned it recently. Since then, nearly all of my sessions (men and women) have mentioned the horrendous violence that is occurring against women. On Facebook I see the counter every time I log on, do you have that on your page? A number that keeps rising showing the number of women who have been murdered so far this year in Australia. As a woman I find this number shocking and scary, as we all should, but there is this fear that is rising for females that didn't exist before. I work with a teenager who is concerned now about her next relationship or of even going out. I have dads talking about how to help their daughters choose better men and how to see 'red flags'.
My husband came to me recently and he said he had heard that people should be talking about this topic more, so he wanted to discuss it with me. Having 3 out of our 4 kiddos being girls is worrying and he wanted to start the discussion, on how we can help them make good choices, how as men they can stand up to other males and point out crap behaviour and show it isn't acceptable from the get-go.
Is this enough? No. We know just talking about things isn't enough, thoughts and words are not action, but if we are ALL talking about it surely, together, we will be heard, and things have to change right? They HAVE to change.
Let's all make a pact to start this change by keeping people accountable, by speaking up, by talking about it more. Let's support our girls / women to have strength in their decisions, to listen to their gut, to have more self-respect, self-worth and self-confidence that chooses THEM, that puts them first over someone who shows signs of manipulation or gaslighting. For the lovely people pleasers who selflessly put themselves last to allow their partner to make all the decisions, to have all of the say, to have all of the control and give nothing in return. That allows them to see that no violence is okay. Acceptance of this isn't okay and we are all here to listen and help.
Let's keep the discussion going and bring a stop to this number rising.
My thoughts go out to all of the women (and men) who have experienced this.
There are places to go:
This is a 24-hour national sexual assault, family and domestic violence counselling line for any Australian who has experienced, or is at risk...
How to support someone experiencing domestic and family violence | 1800RESPECT 1800 Respect
Domestic violence and abusive relationships - signs, effects and support | healthdirect
The Salvation Army - Family and Domestic Violence | The Salvation Army Australia
Work EAPs for Counselling (yours, your partners or family members)
Go and see your GP - For a Mental Health Care Plan
Contact me here - riverviewcounselling@outlook.com
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